It’s the battle of the sexes!
I think there was even a TV show titled such in the 90s. Most people attune themselves to stereotyped propaganda as to “all men” and “all women” do such and such. Even the well-promoted John Gray wrote his book Men are From Mars; Women are From Venus in such regards. I’m here to tell you that is a bunch of crap!
Is any of it true?
Sure, some aspects may be true, such as men tend to compartmentalize better than women. However, we need to be cognizant that all stereotypes are not true and are born out of society’s own imagination and promotions. Various women and men’s groups even like to keep a separatist view, which feeds their own biased causes. I am, by all means, about fairness and equality, about sharing and being a team. It’s the myths and blatant stereotypes that further propel problems in relationships.
Let me explain…. Often, I have couples in my counseling practice make references “Greg, you know how women are!” Or, “Greg, I know you’re a man, though you know how men can be!”
I chuckle at these remarks and simply say, please tell me how women are or educate me on how all of us men are. 😉 At these very moments, I begin teaching couples that they need to stop focusing on stereotypes and focus on what their partner needs and wants to feel loved.
Each person is an individual aside from their gender.
I teach couples that perhaps men and women may exhibit love differently; however, that doesn’t hold true for everyone. For example, there are women who do not like to cuddle or hold hands, and there are many men who love these practices, and even crave them! There are men out there who are very nurturing, yet strong and there are women also who are strong, yet cannot show empathy. You see, the main point I’m attempting to make is that you need to see your partner as an individual, not as “all women” or “all men!”
Focus on your partner, not their gender roles.
Forget about the concept that all women need this or that! Ignore the practice to conceptualize that “all men are such and such!” This causes greater disconnect and distance! Start focusing what your “Man” needs and what your “Woman” wants as individuals. We are all different and need to propel ourselves to view life and our mates as such! Remember, there are women who love football, and men who hate it. There are also a ton of women out there who crave more sex than men. Go figure right? J Now take this knowledge and learn what your mate needs to feel loved, desired, and important versus assuming and bashing either gender. We all want to be loved after all.